Friends....how many of us have them?

I want to vent a little about friends. What really is a friend? If you are reading this ask yourself how many true friends you really have. I like to break people down as friend, colleague, family or acquaintance. We all have some sort of family. I'm sure some are closer with their family than others....most are probably closer to their families than me but family is the category we can control the least. I want to talk about friends so I will move this along. Colleagues of course are the folks we work with. Some we like, some we don't but even though we may be "friendly" with them at the end of the day they are our colleagues. Acquaintances are folks we meet through other friends, through work, through just living our day to day lives. I have grown to truly like some of these acquaintances. I have gone to ball games with some, bars, casinos, even hit a little gin and juice with some but at the end of the day they haven't passed the true friend test.

Now if you are wondering how one passes the "true" friend test ask yourself the following question, "when I finally snap and the sleeping demon comes to the surface and instead of just laughing off the douche bag in the Ed Hardy tee-shirt that mocked me at the mall I followed him home and felt the warmth of his blood spray me in the face as I choked the life out him, who do I call to help me move the body?" How many names did you come up with? There are 3 people in the world that I consider "true" friends. The first, my wife, is the reason I needed to rant on this topic. Her "true" friend died 3 years ago this month. Honestly, her friend and I didn't really see eye to eye on much be we didn't dislike each other...maybe misunderstood each other, but didn't dislike. I remember the pain in my wife's voice when she called me to tell me of the motorcycle accident that took her "true" friends life. I feel for her because I know that is something that is almost impossible get someone in your life to achieve the "true" friend status once it has already been claimed. I try to be the best friend that my wife can have because we are both kindred spirits in the lone wolf world. It doesn't hurt that wither one of us would help each other move a body....REMEMBER....acquaintences help you move, "true" friends help you move a body. My wife has come to known many acquaintances but never a real friends. I hold hope that she will find one but I'm not sure. It was just last week that she was looking at pictures on facebook of all her (as she thinks) friends that were away together and just like the fucked up cliques that make us jaded in our youth I saw it all over again. The disappointment. The sadness and pity of why don't I get invited to these things. Why? Because the fuckers aren't your friends. Don't get me wrong it is good to have friendly acquaintances. We need people in our lives and some human contact is good but speaking for myself I only need my wife, lifelong pal that I consider my real "brother" and my other close good friend. There is one person that I think is extremely reliable and tight to my wife and I hope that one day I can, without pause, call her my wife's "true" friend. We need to somehow get our families a little closer but who knows what tomorrow will bring. All I know is that I'm glad I have my little circle. I never want to hear that disappointment in my wife's voice again. It was the same disappointment you get when you are semi-stalking a stripper and you show up on a night ready to make your move to the champagne room only to be faced with tragedy. I'm trying to do something special for her for our anniversary (11 years - damn) coming up and of course I do that with the help of one of my "true" friends. Whenever any of those 3 are let down, I'm here to pick up the pieces...and if any of you happen to read this - call me when you need me to bring the shovel and the garbage bags.

Until next time....

Change isn't so bad...

I made a decision last summer that would change my life forever and after 8 months of medical tests and slashing through insurance company red tape I was approved by Cigna to spend the morning of March 3, 2010 at New York Presbyterian Hospital with a top notch doctor. Once the procedure was completed I knew I had work to do. I started going to Hoboken Boot camp every Saturday morning with my wife. The first Saturday I went I couldn't walk until Thursday. It was BRUTAL. I called my primary care physician and told him I had post traumatic stress syndrome from this exercise experience and I needed some Xanax (sweet, delicious Xanax) and a therapist.

Side note - for anyone that has not had the pleasure of getting a script for Xanax, tell your doc that you feel a little uptight. Every time I pop one of these beauties it is a euphoria on level I can't explain. I haven't taken one in ages but for the times when you are overwhelmed with work, family, whatever...it makes everything better. You achieve the same sense of nirvana that you get when you are sitting in the Sapphire club in Vegas with a bottle of your favorite beverage, some cigars, and a few grand in your pocket...ah, if there isn't a heaven on Earth...

I digress...Xanax is good when you are stressed to the max but don't use it too often or you wind up hooked and on a cable TV show. Anyway, for the past 2 plus weeks or so I have not missed a boot camp on a day there is class. I go every Monday - Thursday at 7:00pm and every Saturday 9:00 am. I'm starting to feel it! I never thought I would go back to an exercise regiment but I had to do it, if not for me for my 2 kids. I had to try and make a change. So far, so good. My new pants arrived tonight and they are 8 inches smaller that the pair I was wearing only 4 months ago. To top it off I feel strong as an ox, nowhere near some of the beasts that go to boot camp (yet), but for being a hunk of death for the past x number of years. I feel like the change is happening and I even pointed out the cut in my biceps already to the wife. I have always lived in fear of change but now I'm not so sure. I'm not going to jump into any super extreme changes but now some things I was afraid to do or goals I never thought possible don't seem so out of reach. I'm going to see the best nutritionist this side of the country tomorrow and we will see what the scale says but so far it's been life changing and I can't wait to see what happens over the next year. I'll keep you posted to the changes and if you ever thought of making a change, just do it. Live for today because tomorrow is not a guarantee.

Until next time...

Patrick and the iPhone

So my oldest son Patrick downloaded 40 some odd dollars worth of games to my iPhone the other day. Those of you that know me best can only imagine the mood that put me in. Pat is so damn smart and I'm not saying that because I am a proud dad I'm saying that because he is beyond his years. What they consider toys and what I considered toys as a kid are so far apart it's scary. If you are a parent today of children 5 and up...constantly change your passwords to everything. I should have learned my lesson when Pat used my credit card on the Lego site...or if I thought that was a fluke I should have learned when he wasn't feeling the pasta being cooked for dinner and went on line for a little take out...and he got everyone's favorites! But this knack for working out my credit card is an ominous foreshadowing of his future teen years. You can order everything on-line. Think about the power you could have had if you were a kid again today and knew the folks credit card info. Wowza!

All my favorite things I loved as a kid seem so caveman today compared to what my kids like. Try comparing our video game systems to what kids have today...I remember trading cards with my friends not wii games. Hell we even looked forward to Sunday mornings to watch cartoons (with epic psa's by the way) and my kids can watch cartoons whenever they want...even tivo some.

The more I think about the world we live in today and the things kids are attracted too I look for creative ways to protect my credit and try to get my kids to have a good childhood. I know I can't force my old (and looking back - dangerous) favorites on them but I want them to have a mix of modern stuff and old fashioned fun stuff. I guess all we can do is keep trying to reign them in from today's technological landscape and try to provide them with the happiest childhood we can. Although Patrick's childhood might be short lived if he keeps finding ways to feed his habit.

Until next time...

Everything Sux...

I'm sitting here totally foul and need to vent a little. What happened to TV? Can someone out there please tell me what happened to quality TV. I try to watch network TV, I do. It is so bad. I saw the Emmy nominees this morning and just shook my head in total dismay. Before I get into that I just watched the LeClown James "special" on ESPN and it was the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen. The level of self importance is mind boggling. The fact that my wife (doesn't know a football from a basketball) and I watched is even more mind boggling. I hope this team never wins. Don't take this the wrong way, I'm not bitter he didn't come to NY or NJ (I wanted him to stay at home), I'm bitter because these 3 guys conspired to play for the devil and think they got a ring locked. I hope he never wins. One more thought before I move on...they kept calling him the best player in the game today and I always thought the best player in any sport is the one that consistently leads his team to championships. oh well...on to the Emmy's.

The Emmy nominees came out and I realize the majority of these shows are for sheep. There were a few on there that I watch...Dexter for one...Nurse Jackie is good, not a comedy, but good. I just don't understand how network TV got so bad. 19 nominations for Glee? Seriously? I love Jane Lynch but this show is the epitomee of what I hate about network TV. If you are white suburbia and have never lived in a major city and love glee then put on a top 40 station and have a glass of white wine and disregard my ramblings because this crap is meant for folks like you. I would give it another chance if it showed a glimpse of what the world is really like...maybe a body count episode? Can we get a Law and Order:SVU episode and glee crossover? I'd be into that and might even set the Tivo.

I see the Good Wife was nominated too....really?

Southland is one of the best shows on TV and it had to jump to cable. Network TV is a joke. Cable is the only choice now for quality shows. I long for the days of Oz -if you thought the wizard I hope said cuts you like he did adebisi (mr. eko). Bring back the wire maybe some shield reruns. I do have a soft spot for Criminal Minds though so all is not totally lost. It's funny how the more advanced TV's have become the worse the programming gets. I always thank god for cable and sports. Of course until tonight when I got sucked into the LeClown nonsense. ugh...

Remember when it comes to TV and Music today skip ahead to the 4:02 mark and realize Everything Sux.

Until next time..